Let me tell you something: I don’t know shit about metal. Don’t ask me the difference between sludge metal and doom metal, or the difference between black metal and death metal, for what it’s worth. There are these dudes from Silvester Anfang who tried to explain me, but I loose interest in about five seconds. Maybe I’m even more interested in the whole imagery of all things metal than in the music itself.

And than here’s Alkerdeel, from Zomergem, Belgium. You could translate Zomergem as: Summertown. A black metal band from Summertown can’t be wrong. I only know two members of Alkerdeel. One works for a big media concern, the other organises a summer festival by the sea that has Tori Amos as its headliner this year.

Ever since reading Franz Kafka, I love people with a double life. Being original and true in truly overrated. Fake it like a man. Yes you can. I never liked anarchists in punk clothing. I like my eccentrics in suits. Like the beatniks. I like my geniuses dressed sharp, like John Coltrane on that famous picture by William Claxton: a black man in a black suit at the completely white painted Guggenheim museum. That’s class.

Leave away the in between, go for the extremes. As white as an empty room in the Guggenheim museum. As black as De Speenzalvige by Alkerdeel. Print your graphics and liner notes in black on a black piece of paper, as they do.
The Austrian conceptual artist Erwin Wurm says that art often fails when it tries to tell something about real live, and, because of that, becomes a cheap and small imitation of real life. A Mini Me of real life, in other words. So don’t try to be real in art or music. Dare to be over the top, dare to be XXL, dare to be a cartoon. Like Ozzy, like Lemmy, like Alkerdeel.

And than there’s the music: it’s recorded on tape in a piggery on a farm. The high hat often sounds too sharp and too loud. The vocals are often too quiet. The bass, guitar and drums sound like one big porridge of sound. In other words: totally awesome. De Speenzalvige contains three songs and more than one hour of sound. Again: totally awesome!

I think I like this band. I think I like them a lot. Maybe I even should get to know a bit more about all things metal, with a good mentor. I can be a good discipline, you know, obeying my master. Master! Master! 8/10 -- Joeri Bruyninckx (2 June, 2010)